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My mom called my doctor and said to him “What’s the most accurate measurement for weighing?”
The doctor said “An underwater weighing test”
And just like that, my mom said “Yes. When can my son and my daughter can take it?” and the doc said “Today at 2pm.”

So, I didn’t bother taking a shower and so did my sister too, so I had to get into a special swimming suit(tight pants…Ugh).

My sister said “Can I pull my hair down to a ponytail?” The doctor said “No.”
So my sister with her long, blonde hair went underwater with 8 seconds and had she must enjoyed it..but I didn’t.

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- someone posted this copypasta on /b/ in like 2003 and whenever anyone asked for clarification on any one of the bizarre non-sequiturs in it he would just reply with shit like “it was an underwater weighing test” or “her hair got wet” and the thread got up to 200 replies before he got banned by two different mods for frustrating the shit out of everyone and this is still the golden standard i hold trolls to (via sexhaver)

Whaaat?

(via memewhore)

Source: sexhaver
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foodishouldnoteat:

if you love food follow my blog!

Source: weheartit.com
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fishingboatproceeds:

I have always wondered if this was a reference to James Joyce’s Ulysses, in which Bloom carries around a potato for much of the novel.

(via fuckingsh4y)

Source: fyspringfield.com
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babyhaims:

*sees dog* that is the most beautiful dog i’ve ever seen
*sees another dog* that is the most beautiful dog i’ve ever seen
*sees third dog* that is the most beautiful dog i’ve ever s

(via fuckingsh4y)

Source: babyhaims
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foodishouldnoteat:

if you love food follow my blog!

Source: weheartit.com
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foodishouldnoteat:

if you love food follow my blog!

Source: weheartit.com
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I thought it was rock candy

(via candykissesxx)

Source: tree-faerie
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Shes so hot ahdkd9gjeidndkxjcns

Shes so hot ahdkd9gjeidndkxjcns

(via candykissesxx)

Source: luxurae
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